Summer #42

Don't Turn from Summer (莫负寒夏) by Ding Mo (丁墨)

Chapter 42

She remembers his bleary eyes after getting drunk. But he has been extra cautious since he lost consciousness after drinking too much that night at the KTV. Particularly in public, he never drinks so much as to lose clear consciousness. He is more shrewd than a fox and it is the dinner with Rong Yue tonight, how could he allow himself any chance of errors?

Could it possibly be that...he was not intoxicated by wine but just got himself drunk? In his heart, there’s the thing between the two of them?

At these thoughts, Mu Hanxia feels as if her heart was covered by the continuous rain, damp and cold and unsettled. She is quiet for a moment and finally asks the driver to take her to the place they went together a few days ago―Lot A.

It’s already past eleven into the night. The sky is pitch dark. Mu Hanxia puts on the hood of her thin down jacket, allowing the raindrops drifting onto her face. It’s the same vast wilderness here. In the night it is even more deserted, without a single beam of street light. Mu Hanxia stumbles through the grass covered field, suppressing an urge to curse. She can hardly believe Lin Mochen would ever come here at this hour.

But sure enough, not far into the lot, right where they were the other day, is the figure of someone sitting there. Beside him is a oil lamp normally used on construction sites. The light illuminates his blurry figure. Who else could it be other than Lin Mochen?

Mu Hanxia thinks he must have gone out of his mind. But then she thinks, can someone like him ever go out of his mind?

She approaches him from behind and stops at a distance of a few steps. Then she yells, “Lin Mochen, are you insane? We are all looking for you.”

Lin Mochen turns his head slowly and stands up. In the dark night, she can’t see his face clearly but can feel his eyes, pressingly bright as always.

“What I need is not they looking for me.”

He takes one step forward. With the light of the oil lamp, Mu Hanxia can see his face clearly now. Those pair of eyes are extremely bright and clear, with absolutely no trace of over-drinking. She instantly understands―he has led her here on purpose.

“The message is delivered. Do whatever you like.” She turns to leave.

“Summer!” He calls her name, “That night in the warehouse, I had my cellphone with me. And there were more than one quilt.”

Mu Hanxia pauses.

The rain is slightly heavier, falling on her forehead, slipping down from the tip of her nose, and tumbling into her mouth. She bites her lip, looking down at the bent grass at her feet, and stands there completely still.

He walks slowly over, gently holds one of her hands from behind. Her hand is so cold and his is the same. He holds her and says in a low voice, “Summer, I’m sorry.”

Mu Hanxia is not sure what he is apologizing for, but her eyes suddenly become moist.

He says, “Since a long time ago, I have been wanting you. But I’d never encountered real love, I was reluctant to admit that you are different. I admit that I’m used to be the dominant one, and I admit that I don’t like to be led by the nose by a woman. But now, am I not led by the nose by you?”

Listening to his slightly self-sarcastic voice, Mu Hanxia feels a bit like crying, but at the same time feels a bit like laughing.

Still holding her hand in his, lowering his head and gently pressing against her face with his, he says, “Now you should have no more worries, because the only one I want is you. I once said that my loved one might become my weakness. Now you’ve really become my weakness, the only one I can’t give up.”

When Mu Hanxia hears the words “my loved one,” she can hardly hold back her tears. Finally she can’t suppress her feelings any more and responds with a very soft “Hmm.” Lin Mochen feels as if his heart was flooded with twirling and curling waves of water. He reaches out and holds her in his arms, turning her around to face him.

“You said I always knock on the door and never push it open. But in the future I will always push the door open and let you see me. You can continue to think about whether to be with me. I won’t make decisions for the two of us any more.”

He lowers his head and says in a low voice, “I love you.”

Then on her lips, he drops a very light kiss.

Tears suddenly fall from Mu Hanxia’s eyes, mixed with the rain, blurring her vision. Once he gets a taste of the kiss, after leaving her lips, he immediately comes back and covers them again with his own lips. He deepens the kiss, parting her lips and seeking her tongue. He presses her tightly in his arms and loses himself in the tender passions with her.

Mu Hanxia’s tears keep falling and falling. She really is never someone who cries easily. But when he kisses her, why is there so much sweetness and bitterness swelling from her heart?

Lin Mochen also tastes the saltiness in the kiss, which makes his heart even more tender and more passionate. In the vastness under the sky, in the rainy night, his own woman in his arms, he actually feels unprecedentedly content and joyful. So he just keeps kissing her, totally unwilling to let go of her.

Mu Hanxia is dazed by his kiss and for a moment forgets where she is. She asks herself, should I push him away? No, she can’t push him away. She really can’t.

It’s not that I don’t love you, and want to push you away time after time.

It’s not that I have indignation that’s not soothed.

Do you know, do the god’s favored you know, there are too many partings in the world?

The too wonderful you, I’m afraid I can’t keep hold of.

...

Lips between his lips, body in his arms, she murmurs half blankly, “Didn’t you say you would let me think about it? About whether to be with you?”

“Hmm, think on.” He replies vaguely.

Amid the wilderness at the center of the city, in the pouring rain, they are actually like staying in their own tranquil world. He holds her even closer and so does she. Their kiss deepens, neither is willing to let go.

--------

It’s already an hour past midnight when Lin Mochen escorts her to the door of her hotel room. They are both soaked. He leans against the door, a faint but clear trace of smile in his eyes as he has now won the heart of her, and whispers, “Think well.”

Mu Hanxia: “Hmm, I know. Good night.”

But he doesn’t budge.

Mu Hanxia: “Why are you still not moving?”

“To look at you for a little longer.” He says.

Mu Hanxia’s heart skips a beat and is almost unable to stand the gaze from him. She reaches for the door and says, “Hurry and go take a shower. If you catch a cold tomorrow, you will pain your friends and please foes.”

Lin Mochen chuckles and surveys her thoughtfully for another moment or two, not sure what he’s thinking, and finally returns to his own room.

Mu Hanxia goes into the bathroom, takes off her soaking outfit, and is about to turn on the hot water, when she looks up and sees herself from the mirror.

The hair ruffled as wild grass, face pale from the coldness, the undergarment also wet and messy. Only the eyes, bright as shining stars. Only the lips, swollen by his kisses. And lower on the neck, there are even a few hickeys left by him when he lost himself in the passionate affection.

For a moment, seeing herself like this makes her feel like a child. Happy, blind, confused, sweet, joyful, bewildered...She lowers her head and smiles. She can’t hold back the smiles. Turning on the hot water, she stretches her arms to embrace the warmth.

...

In your whole life, have you ever seen true love?

When true love is here, it’s like the flames that sweep across the grassy plain, accompanying me through my regretless youth, allowing me to blaze freely.

The end of Volume II: The Too Beautiful Me