Summer #52

Don't Turn from Summer (莫负寒夏) by Ding Mo (丁墨)

Chapter 52

The winter in Beijing is much colder than in Lin City, the snow half-a-foot deep. At dusk, the sky is dark as in a deep cave. Bracing against the wind, Mu Hanxia goes down the stairs, waving good-bye to a few colleagues, and walks toward Lin Mochen’s home.

In the apparel business, she needs to come often for monitoring and communication as a representative of Lin Mochen. This time she listens to him and stays temporarily at his home. But of course, she hasn’t gone to sleep in his master bedroom. Instead, she takes the guest bedroom.

This gives her a strange feeling. The spacious and empty rooms, with apparent simplicity and hardness, are also full of the traces he has left. The row of shirts in the closet, the shaver and man’s perfume in the bathroom, and a thin blanket of light gray color on the couch―does he wrap it on himself when he feels cold while at home alone?

Sometimes, she is a little lost in thoughts, imagining living together in this house when both of them return to Beijing, just like he said. Seeing each other all day and every day like that. That must be a very intimate relationship.

Being with him, living with him, intimate beyond word. Just thinking about it makes her dreaming and longing.

She sits in his dark-colored leather couch with the blanket wrapped around her, and holds the fast food she just bought downstairs, eating and smiling.

Honestly, the relation between Lin Mochen and her can’t be considered very warm and thick. The night he declared his love to her, she did feel him truly passionate and irresistible. But in work and life, he is still the cool and sensible one. If the work calls for it, he will still send her to Beijing for the business. He won’t be over-emotional and won’t find it hard to be left without her. His passion toward her mostly shows in late nights, when there are only the two of them and when she sees his assertive tenderness and his suppressed desire as a man.

This affection between them is really light, as if there’s no way to fully let it out, because of their more frequent separation than being together, and because of him being methodical and restrained. But then Mu Hanxia thinks about herself. Isn’t she the same kind of person? They are already business partners with excellent mutual understanding. Even when they can’t help but fall in lover later on, they still share the same understanding and sensibleness.

She guesses that maybe their love is not very deep and sturdy yet. He knows that their relationship has been disturbed by many things. But like Lin Mochen, she also believes that this situation is just temporary. If they hang in there and get over this period of time, when the business becomes stable, their relationship will enjoy a very very good advancement.

Besides, who can say that their feelings toward each other are not silently growing in a winter night like this?

Thinking about him, and here he is. Here rings the call from Lin Mochen.

Mu Hanxia stands up and walks to the window, gazing out at swirling snow in the vast city.

“Hi,” She smiles before saying anything, “What’s up?”

His voice seems to be tinted with the damp and cold air of Lin City, “Hmm. We’ve got the Lot B from Cao Dasheng.”

Mu Hanxia is silent for a few seconds and then smiles, her eyebrows curved up.

“Congratulations.”

“When are you coming back?”

“Need a couple more days. I’ll try my best to be faster.”

“OK.” His voice is slow and lazy. Mu Hanxia can almost see him sitting in the couch in his room, gazing out into the dark night outside the window.

“This lot is even larger than Lot A. There’s a spot in the northwest that has the best view.” He says, “I plan to keep it and build a single house there.”

Mu Hanxia: “OH? Okay.”

He is silent for a moment and then says, “We live there together in the future?”

Mu Hanxia feels as if her heart has been flooded by sudden surges of warmth. She never cries easily, but right now at these calm words of his, her eyes suddenly turn red. Maybe it’s because of the frustration due to separation, maybe the loneliness in such a winter night, or maybe it’s the implication of home in this promise of his.

He and she, the two of them, are both longing for a place called home?

She replies in a low voice, “Let me think about it first.”

Lin Mochen chuckles slightly, in a confident way.

Mu Hanxia can’t help but smile too.

“Come back early.”

“Mhm. Mochen...I miss you.”

The 26-year-old Lin Mochen, sitting in the skyscraper of this southwest metropolitan city, the tie still unremoved from his collar, looks up out the window at the drizzling rain and the misty night, smiling all along.

“I also miss you a lot.”

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The next day during work time, Mu Hanxia receives another call from Lao Fang.

He brings her good news, “Xiao Mu, they reviewed your application and said there’s no problem. But they will need a written exam and a video interview. It’s a short call and they want to do it tomorrow. What do you think?”

Mu Hanxia is both nervous and excited and certainly says Okay. Since Lao Fang told her about it the other time, she has tried to find time going over English and some courses whenever possible. When she’s in Beijing, she has also spent a lot of time on it.

After reminding her of some more precautions, Lao Fang hangs up.

Mu Hanxia sits quietly for a long time. The first thing she thinks about is not whether she can make it or not. Rather, she thinks that since there’s already progress, it’s time to tell Lin Mochen. Remembering the words he said last night, she feels even sweeter, so sweet that it spreads into her heart and lungs.

What if...he can’t let her leave the business, or doesn’t want her to leave him and go abroad? It’s not that she hasn’t thought about it. But when actually facing the situation, she really doesn’t know how to make up her mind.

She has always been a decisive person and at the moment a decision comes to her mind―follow her own heart.

Her heart, which side is her heart with?

The studies are important. How she wishes for a complete overturn of her own life

But, can she bear to leave him?

She doesn’t want to leave him, doesn’t want to leave this man.

But then, on another thought, how can the situation become really bad? So calm and sensible as he is, maybe he would support her more than she does herself about going abroad? Besides, he’s so rich now, it’s even possible that they will visit each other every month after she goes. After all, it’s not something he can’t afford.

Mu Hanxia decides, after she gets home from work this evening, she will call him.

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Lin Mochen’s cellphone goes off at past ten in the night.

He’s already back in the hotel, reading a magazine while relaxing in the couch. The development of Lot B has begun. The Lot A under collaboration with Rong Yue has also entered the phase of main building construction. The major work is done and he is actually less busy than earlier.

Smiling slightly at the sound of the ring tone, he grabs the phone and glances at the screen. But he doesn’t connect it immediately.

The call is not from her, but from Sun Zhi.

Sun Zhi seldom calls him the boss at this time of day.

Unless it’s extremely urgent.

Outside the window, the night is already deep. Stars are hidden from sight, and the chilly wind carries traces of snow. Holding the phone in his hand, Lin Mochen stares at it for a few seconds, before he put the magazine aside and picks it up.

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Mu Hanxia has been quite busy today. It’s past eleven when she gets home. But she doesn’t think he has gone to bed. And, she has to tell him the happening today, not wanting to keep it to herself any more.

She has thought it through. Whether he would be willing to let her go or not, whether his reaction would be gentle or strong, it’s OK as far as they are both candid.

As soon as she gets home, she crawls into that blanket of his, settles herself in the couch, and dials his number.

 “Ring...ring...ring...ring...”

The phone keeps ringing but not one picks up.

Mu Hanxia stiffens. Normally, he would have finished his day’s work by this time of day. And he is too energetic to have gone to bed at this time.

Why not pick up the phone?

She thinks about it and dials the number of the land phone in his hotel room.

Still no one picks up.

Maybe something urgent are keeping him busy?

With this thought, Mu Hanxia goes to brush her teeth and take a shower. After changing into her nightgown, she goes to lie down in bed.

It’s almost midnight.

After lying there for a few moments, she suddenly sits up and starts to call him on the cellphone and land phone again. But still no one picks up. A strange feeling comes to her, and she calls Sun Zhi instead. But still, no one picks up.

Mu Hanxia sits stiffly for a long while. She looks up suddenly and catches sight of the vague stars covered up by the clouds. That is the lengthy and silent winter in the north.